Convolusions
by noddwyd
Summary: A complicated story of a Harry with extraordinary abilities who is granted a chance to go back in time after the war ends badly for him. But once he gets there he jumps the gun a bit and ends up in a coma. Voldemort is an enemy Harry knows well. But ca
1. A Second Chance is all I ask

AN: I've been trying to find a fic where post-Voldemort Harry goes back in time to do things over again in the hope that he can fix things, or it just happens as a result of outside forces. Well, I've given up. I think that in this case what I really need to do is write it myself. It's popular and a bit cliche, but Harry's past I think really is worth reliving, and I think he'll be a different and also a better person because of it. At the same time I hope to counter this fic with one where he really does lose pretty much everything and goes away to live as a hermit in a place his mother's grandfather used to live, where he'll try to move beyond his past and into a brighter future. Both paths have merit and both have many and complicated consequences. And we may never know which is actually the right path. Perhaps neither. Perhaps its simply a matter of choice. That's what I'd like to believe.

Prologue: If at first you don't succeed...

Harry had gotten by on luck the first time around. Not anymore. He'd been granted his wish by the great time mage himself, a chance to do it all again. He'd succeed this time. He wouldn't fail his friends. He'd been singled out as a child because he held the greatest power of all. All children possessed it at some point of course, even if only breifly in their innocence, but he was a focus, a lense through wich the power of light could shine upon the world, and once he finally realized that in his seventeenth year, Voldemort had been nothing to him, nothing but a petulant child, despite the Dark Lord's own wicked powers of shadow and fire. However the price he paid to awaken those powers prematurely was too much for him. His friends were all gone. Ginny, Neville, Luna, and even Ron and Hermione. All were killed in the last stand on the black lake. Voldemort had finally caught up to Karkaroff and taken every bit of information stored in his mind before finally allowing him to die. He'd used it to take over Durmstrang and used their ship to appear unexpectedly at Hogwarts, expecting to find retreive the only remaining Horcrux hidden in the Chamber of Secrets. but Harry had already destroyed it, removing his unattural advantage once and for all. The battle had been long, but the Death Eaters were eventually driven back to the lake where the battle continued in the boats and underwater. Several were killed by the creatures of the lake and a few Deatheaters were speared by Merpeople, but in the end Harry had been unable to protect his friends when Voldemort used an explosive ball of pure shadow energy to swallow half the lake. 

After his grief, and a long drinking binge with Hagrid, one of the few survivors, thanks only to his giant genes, he'd been approached by a group of people that called themselves the council of mages. A group of elementalists who all possessed similar powers to his own in different areas. They took him to meet the guardian of time, who had given him the best news he'd heard in years.

"Harry Potter, Child of Ra, son of Lily of the White Waters, and James Potter of the Azure Flame, I am Cronos, Guardian of the Past, and Protector of the Future, but enough of titles, I'm sure you're more sick of it than I am at this point."

Despite himself, Harry laughed. "Yes Sir. I understand you have something important to tell me."

"Yes." he sighed. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm just going to say it. I need you to go back in time and fix your history." It took a moment for this to fully sink in for Harry, but in the next second he had jumped up, realizing that if Cronos could really do what he just said that he would literally leap at the chance to do so.

Cronos chuckled. "Not so fast, Harry. Its very complicated. There are certain things that you will be able to safely influence and others you will have to leave alone, or at least wait until the right time to act on them so as to keep the timeline relatively intact. But your friends were not supposed to die according to the Record of Fate so I'm bound to give you the chance to fix this according to the laws of the council. However it is very risky for you and for me. If I allow you to go back and you go awol on me we'll both be in a world of trouble with some much higher powers than just the council, and you know what the people in the next room are capable of, Harry. Harry, properly rattled at that little tidbit, was all ears, eager and hopeful for the future, for the first time in years. Cronos lectured Harry on the intricacies of alternate timelines and alterations to pre-existing timelines and the records of fate. He also warned Harry of the temptation to manipulate people selfishly, knowing what they will grow to be. It all weighed heavily on Harry's shoulders, but at this point he felt he was able to handle it. 

"Before they allow me to use my powers on you to send your consiousness into your younger self, the council will quiz you on everything I have told you. And one more thing, Harry, while I'm still able to speak openly with you, a bit of advice. It will help you substantially if you allow someone to know who and what you truly are. I suggest Dumbledore, as he'll find out anyway since you still haven't really mastered Occlumency yet. But if you chose to try and hide it from him, then your next best bet is the Sorting Hat. He's used to being burdened with the secrets people hold. It's a part of the job, plus his knowledge of the school is unrivaled, if you can convince him to spill the beans. Oh, and one more thing, Harry." He smiled, and patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck." And so his interview with Cronos ended, with him not even knowing that the man he'd just spoken to was over two million years old and counting.

Harry passed his test by the council's standards and Cronos came out into the main chamber to use his magic It was quite impressive. His eyes darkened into black pools with fields of stars sparkling deep within them, and he spoke in some language Harry somehow sensed was human, but not from earth. A giant hourglass was conjured, towering above the group. Cronos seized it and with more strength than he'd seen even from Hagrid lifted it above his head and hurled it down on its side, where it shattered and the sands went flying. After that, for a minute, it seemed nothing was happening, but then Harry noticed that some of the sand and glass had frozen in midair. Then Cronos spoke again in the other language, but this time he repeated it in English. "It is done." he said with absolute finality. "Farewell, Child of Ra." And then it happened. Harry was grabbed from behind by the scruff of his neck and jerked backwards faster and further than he'd have ever thought possible in a dizzying whirl of color sound and fury on and on until finally...wham! He landed right back in the council Chamber where Albus Dumbledore was standing in the speaker position at the center of the room, adressing the council on the topic of his suspicions of Voldemort splitting his soul into seven pieces using Horcruxes, something supposedly only an evil mage could ever hope to achieve. Cronos seemed to be believing him but several others disagreed on the grounds that they would have noticed they themselves being mages that have the ability to read and manipulate the soul, something which there were a ton of rules surrounding and even more punishments for abuse of such skills. But Dumbledore attested that Voldemort would have the ability to hide it from them because he was undoubtedly a shadow mage. The mention of this aroused another group of mages across the chamber who were all dressed in blacks and greys that protested that Dumbledore was simply prejudiced against them and that Voldemort had never shown any sign of mage powers despite his aptitude in magic. He would have had to develop his shadow powers at the age of ten to a point beyond most masters for them not to have detected him. As the case was stacked against Dumbledore Harry realized that no one could see him except Cronos and a few people at the head of the table dressed in white robes. Cronos called for silence.

"As some of you may have noticed we have a new guest. I have my suspicions that he may be able to shed some light on the subject of Voldemort, and if our Soul Mages would care to make him corporeal for the moment so he may do so, I'm sure that he will be most grateful.

Harry chuckled as the Soul Mages fumbled for their staffs, having not even noticed him standing there until that moment, being so flustered. After a quick chant, Harry was no longer transparent, and introduced himself and explained how and why he was here. Cronos explained that yes, he had brought Harry here from a future, for many reasons necessary for the survival of the council and the world as they knew it. 

Dumbledore was shocked. Here before him was a boy, no a man, fully grown into his responsibility and from the looks of it a mage himself now. It brought a smile to his face. It was short lived when Harry explained to the Council that Voldemort was both a fire and shadow mage and how he had killed so many before he could destroy the last horcrux and awaken his own powers to stop him. Cronos then explained that Harry's soul was not only here to give them this information, he was also here to take possession of his younger body and help to repair this timeline whereas his younger soul was needed elsewhere. The switch was assigned to a Soul Mage named Algernon Croaker and Albus Dumbledore was asked as an outside observer to witness the switch and make sure Algernon followed procedure. Harry's spirit and Dumbledore had a long conversation on the way to the Dursley's.

It was the summer before Harry's first year and Harry was arguing with Dumbledore about the pros and cons of his staying with the Dursley's. He argued that he was more than capable of taking care of himself elsewhere and ennumerated a great many abuses the Dursley's had heaped upon him in his early life. Dumbledore however pointed out it was illegal for minors to use magic outside of school, and he was a minor so he couldn't legally set up wards and protections on his own and that his mother died to give him this protection that he'd be walking away from to which Harry replied flatly that he loved his mother but was done hiding behind her at the expense of putting up with her sister's family. He needed to move on, and he needed to go to a place where he could concentrate on developing his mage abilities over the holidays as well as pursuing other avenues of study he'd not had the chance to learn yet, like mind magics such as legilimency and occlumency as well as advanced conjuring and animagus transformations. In the end they came to the agreement that Harry could stay at Hogwarts, after Harry explained that he didn't mean any offense to Dumbledore's ability with blood magic or to his mother it was simply that the Dursley's were not the sort of people that could accept an oddity like himself under their roof. Dumbledore accepted that and offered to tutor him in his spare time over the summer. Croaker also offered to read Harry to see which areas he should try and focus on. They arrived on the doorstep where Dumbledore placed a powerful stasis charm over the house and they went in where Harry retrieved his younger self from the cupboard under the stairs and brought him outside of the stasis field. At first the young boy was afraid of them but Croaker used his natural ability to allow him to see them as they really were, friendly and not a threat to him at all. 

The two Harry's got along very well once they were introduced, and the younger version of himself was told he was being sent to another version of reality where he was needed to save his own life. The older Harry was a bit jealous when he learned that in this other reality the younger Harry would get to grow up with parents and brothers and sisters, not to mention his Uncle Sirius and his family. Thinking about that some more he realized that his mother was most likely pregnant when she was murdered. That realization almost made him lose his breakfast, but he didn't want to disturb his younger self with the knowledge. 

A note was left behind by Albus and they all went back to headquarters so the switch could take place before the whole council and be verified for their records. 

Now Harry was an eleven year old again. It was an odd feeling, but one, he realized, he would have to get used to. He would have to start all his old friendships over again, and he hoped he could do things a bit better this time around, and be a better friend. First and foremost however, he needed to be ready to kill Voldemort again when the time was right, and he hoped to completely overwhelm him this time, and take him by surprise with knowledge and powers he wasn't supposed to have at his age. And for that, he was glad that Dumbledore understood his position and was willing to help, despite how they might have had their differences in the past. 

After thanking Cronos and saying his goodbyes to his younger self, Harry, Dumbledore, and Croaker hitched a ride back to Hogwarts on the tail of a phoenix. 

next: chapter 1.

"Well Harry, it looks like you and I have an interesting journey ahead of us. I've always found that the best place to begin learning of this magnitude is with Occlumency, as it orders information in your mind into a very cohesive system and keeps stray thoughts and emotions under control for the most part." 


	2. In the eyes of the mind

Ch.1: In the Mind's Eye 

"Well Harry, it looks like you and I have an interesting journey ahead of us. I've always found that the best place to begin learning of this magnitude is with Occlumency, as it orders information in your mind into a very cohesive system and keeps stray thoughts and emotions under control for the most part."

"I agree with Dumbledore, Harry. You have great potential, and it will take all your life to complete that journey. Or in this case, all of both your lives. Just remember one thing. Don't be too manipulative of your former friends. Let things progress naturally, and you should be fine." Croaker bade them farewell and walked out of Dumbledore's office.

Harry was in shock from what Croaker had seen in him. His hidden abilities were more vast than he had ever realized, and he intended to find and conquer all of them.

"Well Harry, I'll admit I haven't been this excited in a long time, but if you don't want to begin straight away I'll understand."

Harry realized that this Dumbledore had no idea what a sore spot Occlumency was for him. He quickly explained that he had tried to learn it in the past from Professor Snape, and that it had failed.

"Don't worry, Harry. I'll be teaching you myself. I don't think Professor Snape would be too understanding of a request to teach such an advanced skill to someone your age. However, I would like you to detail what methods he used in the past, relatively speaking, to teach you and where you stand with the skill now.

Harry described his sessions with Snape and his insistence that he must learn to clear his mind.

"I see," said Dumbledore, a troubled expression coming over him. "Well, I'll have to admit he isn't the best choice to teach a subject like that. He's too forceful a teacher, expected too much of you without providing necessary details. However, we will begin with a much easier approach. Come with me, Harry, we are going for a walk. I'm going to teach you the art of meditation."

Dumbledore led him to a clearing in the forbidden forest, which Harry had never seen before. It was simply an open space surrounded by a circle of trees, as if it had been landscaped, although Harry could somehow sense that it had grown this way naturally.

"What is this place," Harry asked, still a bit unnerved by his own voice.

Dumbledore shrugged, "This is simply a place of peace. We will begin studying Occlumency here."

Dumbledore walked to the center of the circle and sat down, crossing his legs and tucking his long beard into his robes. Harry followed suit, although feeling a little foolish sitting there when the Headmaster had his eyes closed and didn't acknowledge him at all. A few minutes passed with Harry looking around at the forest with trepidation. He knew that literally anything could come out of its depths and decide they would be a tasty snack or a nice pincushion. He was about to break the silence and question Dumbledore when he spoke.

"There is something I have discovered throughout my years of teaching, Harry. And that something is that most types of people learn more easily and quickly when they have a pressing need. Harry didn't like the sound of that, and asked what he meant.

"What I mean to say, Harry, is that if you are not able to clear your mind and control your amotions to atain peace in the next few minutes, then the Lethifold in this clearing will find you and eat you. That's how they sense us, through our emotions."

Harry turned white. He should have known how hazardous being Dumbledore's apprentice would be, but he was still a little shocked.

"Jesus." said Harry. "This isn't the time for prayer, Harry." said Dumbledore. "I will give you some tips, but panicking will only excite the creature, so calm yourself. Separate yourself from the physical world."

'Oh, that's easy when your life is in immediate danger!'

"Don't think. Merely let your consiousness stream past you. Observe. Don't assume.

Harry thought back to Voldemort's final moments. And realized that was the peace Dumbledore was talking about. At that point, he had lost everything. His friends, his family. Even his hatred. He'd no longer held the desire to kill in his heart. He realized that everyone was a potential Voldemort. Even himself. And after he'd run the elder wizard through with a spear he'd crafted from pure light, he forgave him, and said a few words over his body, asking whatever higher powers, to send him to a place where his shattered soul could be healed.

He seized that feeling, and let his recent emotions of akwardness, eagerness, and excitement fade, and he let his worries for his new future fade away with them and all thought of the lethifold nearby, leaving himself in a void of pure light. Suddenly Dumbledore appeared in the void.

"Good. I knew you could do it. Now we can begin. First of all, you'll need to meditate at least for five minutes every day, preferably in the morning and at night before sleep. That said, now that you've reached this point, you must of realized that this can't be all there is to Occlumency, as you can't go about your everyday life in this state. This is simply the beginning. A clean slate, so to speak. You'll have to form an interface with your mind to go any further. Personally I use a system of sweets to store my memories, so the interface is a large candy store, but that may be too confusing for you. I suggest you think of a place that you feel safe, and that can be used as a cohesive storage area. My Candy Store I admit is a bit obscure, but that is part of my protections over my mind, and you can work to form a less accessive system later on. Beginners usually use a library. At this point you are only bound by your own imagination. Harry thought for a while, and realized the perfect strategy, something that almost no wizard would come up with. A room full of computers appeared on desks with a chairs all around. Dumbledore looked puzzled, then shocked, and then amused.

"Yes, that would effectively stump most legilimens." Harry sat down at the first computer, delegating it as 'fun', and shoving all his quidditch and other related memories into that computer. He then set up a password and hid the password in some instruction manuels found in the desk. He also added a hand scanner to prevent access to the information by anyone other than himself. He proceeded to the other terminals sifting other information into them and setting up similar passwords. He also created a hidden terminal in the wall that required a patronus to open. This terminal held his more important memories. Ones that would be dangerous in the wrong hands.

Dumbledore also instructed him how to creat systems for filtering active and ongoing memories into these secure systems and how a legilimens would ride into their other memories through that system and how to conteract it.

"I find the best means of counteracting such an infiltration is diversion. If you create a false memory that seems more valueable and dangle it before them, as it were, they may be distracted enough to lose the trail. Also the trail can be made very difficult to follow, with lots of bouncing around to unrelated and distracting areas, and if you so choose, filtering through memories of great pain and suffering. It took Harry some time but he was confident he could prevent this after some time, although his sense of time was diminished in here.

"Now we can also prevent the legilimens from ever reaching this area of your mind, the inner sanctum, as it is called, by creating other layers. Your storage room can be protected by a wall, either physical or magical that only you can get through, and only by using your blood or thumbprint or a password or some other identifying means. Above that most occlumens keep a layer of false memories which they can use to manipulate a legilimens and above that another wall with lesser security. Somewhwere in between you can set up a trap that will shunt the legilimens into an area where they will be revealed and will have to either leave or face you on your terms. After studying a recently aquired artifact, I devised a room where the attacker would be forced to see many aspects of themselves that they may not wish to see.

There is one other flaw in your plan, Harry. Electronics don't fare well under the pressure of magic. You will need a backup system or your memories could be damaged. Harry then showed Dumbledore his backup system. A group of snitches that one would have to chase through an endless forest and that couldn't be captured safely without the proper disabling charm. Harry began to realize that further backups might be necessary and determined to work out even more harsh scenarios later on. The more layers that guarded his memories the better. The downside was that he had to create an easy way to access things for his own needs and daily use through a hidden backdoor that could if discovered render the rest of the shields useless. He communicated this to Dumbledore and he assured Harry that in order for an outsider to use this he would have to either bend the very fabric of space and time or remove Harry's soul from his body, which would defeat the purpose anyway. Greatly relieved, Harry gently pushed Dumbledore out of his mind and they were back in the clearing.

"Is there really a lethifold here?" Harry asked tentatively. "What do you think, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, eyes twinkling with magic and amusement.

"I think you tricked me." Harry said, amused. "Thank you."

"Your welcome. I assure you it won't be the last time." Dumbledore chuckled.

With that they headed back up to the castle and Harry began to realise he'd never really known Dumbledore as they laughed and joked together like two old men as Albus told him stories from his apprenticeship under Nicholas, and he slowly gained new hope for the future now that he was in a better place.

Once they were back in the Headmaster's office they drew up a schedule for the first month of the summer. Albus wanted first and foremost after starting him up on Occlumency, to get Harry started with Runes and Arithmancy, along with Magical Theory, things he would need to know in order to progress to Alchemy, something it seemed he could have great talent with. So his mornings would be filled with that, followed by his animagus training afterwards, which, Harry knew, was going to take him a long time to master, but it would be worth it as no one that young should be able to do it.

Harry also let Dumbledore know that in his time Fred and George had started their own shop and had taken after their father in studying muggle science as the war progressed, although they took it a bit more seriously, and had started to attempt applications of physics to explain magic and how it works, and why electronics seemed to fail around it. He revealed to Dumbledore that they had made a little progress in the area, able to use muggle recording devices in magical areas, although nothing as intense as Hogwarts ambient magical noise. Dumbledore was fascinated and resolved to help Harry in this new branch of magic, and was highly impressed with the Weasley twins genius. They were to spend the evenings working on this after they got their hands on copies of as much muggle research and theory as they could.

Once they had decided on that, Harry told Dumbledore it had been a very long day and asked where he could sleep. Dumbledore gave him the password for Gryffindor tower and sent him on his way. Harry, having walked the path from the office to his dorm many times, was desperately trying to integrate everything he'd experienced today. He couldn't believe how easily he'd been tricked by Dumbledore, and it stung, as he remembered how many times Voldemort had manipulated him the same way. He was grateful to finally be behind a solid wall build through occlumency, where he felt more secure in himself than he ever remembered feeling, but it bothered him deeply that the headmaster, though well-meaning, had no problem manipulating countless innocent people because he felt 'he knew best'. "I'm sure Tom Riddle felt the same way about other people," he muttered angrily. "In fact in a lot of ways he learned from the best. You." He would have to devise a way to subtly but unshakably get back at Dumbledore and prove this point to him once and for all, which he wasn't sure was possible, knowing how old the man was, and how deeply entrenched his inner thought processes must be. 'No, what am I thinking'. He sighed. 'I know I can't shake his beliefs.' 'I'll have to just live with it, and avoid it if I can. This last time was harmless enough. But I'm not sure I'll be able to find a better teacher for alchemy, legilimency, or transfiguration for that matter. He was a very intelligent man, after all, and in many ways much smarter than Harry himself, something his light element should change eventually, but that would take time.

"sigh, that doesn't mean I can't help it along though..." he said to himself, and a portrait off to his left said "That's right lad, optomism is the only way to go!"

He smiled, mostly to himself, and decided to detour to the library before going to bed.

Despite his fatigue his curiosity after Croaker had given him a list of potential abilities he could learn was keeping him awake on pure adrenaline, and probably a little magic too, he thought. He decided to raid the shelves for books on runes, arithmancy, and magical beasts. Croaker had not been able to be specific about what his animagus form was but he did say that Harry should pursue it as it was some type of magical creature. He knew that personality was the best way to try and determine animagus forms. He decided he'd work on that first as he wanted to re-evaluate himself now anyway.Then it hit him, as if a musty book had fallen off the shelf behind him and knocked him senseless. When he had re-entered his eleven year old self his scar had returned to its state as a horcrux! A repository for a peice of Voldemort's dark soul! As such his animagus form would be reflective of that. Also, he'd have to find a way to reinforce his occlumency against Voldemort, as he would have his own backdoor through the scar on his forehead. His only other option was to remove the spirit now with his light, something which would greatly fatigue him and leave him unable to get around much for a week or so, if last time was any indicator. And this time he also had to take into account his age and physical body and magical corebeing weaker. Then again the longer Voldemort's soul stayed the more it would inhibit his own core's growth and development. He decided to gather up his books and go up to the hospital wing so he'd be able to get assistance if he needed it. Once he got there and got settled in he used his elemental ability to percieve if the matron was here. He sensed her in a back room, probably doing inventory, he thought.

Not wanting to warn her until it was too late, he focused his light element, which Voldemort's broken soul wouldn't be able to resist, and pushed as hard as he could. What he couldn't see, with his eyes closed in concentration, was that he was releasing a blinding light from all the orifices on his body and a glowing silver white aura surrounded him. What he also couldn't see was his scar starting to sizzle, and bubble a bit, as it fought back. In his mind, a confrontation was taking place.

The piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry was fighting tooth and nail to remain in this world. It battered at Harry's occlumency shields, which held thanks to his brilliant idea about using muggle concepts to lock his mind away. Concepts Tom didn't bother to know or understand.

Harry pinned down Voldemort's spirit with chains of solid light and prepared a final attack to obliterate it and erase his signature from his own body and soul. In the end the man begged, as death was the only thing he truly feared. But Harry was numb to such a thing, after seeing his friends all die before him. He remembered Croaker's parting shot about manipulating them in this new life. He never had any ideas about doing such a thing. In fact he wanted to avoid them altogether, preventing them from getting tangled up in the treacherous and deadly spider web that was his life. He'd protect them this time no matter what the cost. He pushed these thoughts and images at Voldemort, and the feelings tied into them were all it took to destroy him, along with a hefty dose ofhis own magic.

Madame Pomfrey found him slumped over one of the hospital beds a minute later, having come out to see what had caused the surge of magic. Albus Dumbledore soon arrived as well. Only to find Harry in a deep coma.


	3. Interlude: Albus

The Depths of the Subconsious. 

Only ten percent of our brain is readily available for our everyday use. The other ninety percent...who really knows what lies in its depths? 

Do you really know what your are thinking behind your own back? Beneath your own consiousness? Within each of us, exists a world largely unexplored. Our brains are so complex that we're not capable of truly understanding who and what we are.

Your subconsious is a powerful force, and if you try to fight it, it will exact its punishment. 

It takes what you see and experience in everyday life and produces a world all its own, with its own rules, laws, physics, ideas, people, and even monsters. 

In fact a giant monster protects the subconsious mind from the consious so that they are only able to mix at certain special times such as R.E.M. sleep.

Mostly the consious avoids the other parts of the brain because it fears the deeper wiring and what it is really made of. Another reason is that it wants to feel as if it is in control and that nothing and no one can truly tell it what to do. It questions authority, and questions itself, and is never really sure of anything. The deeper parts of us. Memories we tried to forget and have lost, feelings we avoid, thought trains we dislike, all are there, we just hid them from ourselves, lost in the subconsious. In fact subconsious is a bad term for it. It implies it is beneath the consious, and the consious holds dominion over it, when often the reverse is true, despite our own self delusions. Many think of it as fate and destiny or even luck when really it was often engineered in large portion by our own supressed mind. This part of our brains IS sure of what it is doing. It doesn't question things. It just knows what it knows and that's that. Because of the natural separation of these minds, few people ever truly know who they are and what they're really capable of. It is in large part a section of our brain we label as 'demonic' and avoid it at all costs. And in most people it is in many ways what we would term demonic. It is this person within us that whispers dark nothings in our ear, and contemlates the many inventive ways in which we could kill that person who slighted us in an elevator, or that boss that dumps on us everyday. It has no restraint and can be full of malice towards others and its own higher brain. It's a common horror story, a person finding themselves face to face with their own subconsiousness. A mirror shimmers , and the reflection in it no longer reflects you, it 'is' you. After being supressed for so long, beaten, kicked, and hidden away by you, it has become maniacal and revenge is its only goal. 

On the other side of the mirror you see more than just your other self, but also a twisted version of your life that is their reality. Bodies, horribly mangled and contorted litter the floor, some of them in pieces and others strung up like trophies on the walls, and other things that defy description. Then it all fades away and you're left with your own reflection again, wondering if it was all just your 'mind playing tricks on you.' But it isn't. And then again that's exactly what it is. It doesn't understand how you think, and what it doesn't understand, it reviles as some construct you or your society made up that doesn't exist anyway. What it understands is on a deeper level. It thinks in terms of blood and sex and smell is the only sense it trusts. It doesn't believe in higher ideas like love and friendship. It merely seeks out a particular scent and when it finds it thinks one thing and sticks to it like a dog. 'Mine. My pack. My mate.'

The only way to win against this powerful force is simple and yet very difficult. You have to deny a battle with it entirely. Ignoring it on most issues is really a necessary part of living in society today because of the way our culture has evolved. If it had its way with all of us, it would take our culture, relegate it to the 'bullshit' category, carve it up, burn it, and piss on the remains. 

And yet it is part of our history as a species. In reality the battle is between our 'godlike' side and our 'animal' side, a result of our being an imperfect hybrid between the two, that should have never had the ability to procreate the same way mules can't procreate. The truth is we were created to work in the mines of the gods and be their servants and then be destroyed. But for some reason, many of them took pity on us and gave us knowledge and procreation, going against their leader and getting us cast out of his 'Edin' and left to fend for ourselves for the most part. What followed eventually led to many wars between the gods and men some of which we have record of like the Trojan war, but that era ended as well when nuclear weapons were used and the gods thought better of it after seeing all that destruction and how many humans died because of it and the aftermath. For some reaons its unclear whether they still take responsibility for us or lay claim to our world. Probably not, and if so they do it quietly, behind the scenes. Perhaps wizards were also originally their creation for their personal use or for battle. Who knows. The beings watching over us now are not the same ones that gave us their dna and our higher brains originally. They are for lack of a better term insect like and seem to be so orgainized that they form a kind of hive mind, but I'm getting off topic. 

The immediate problem is that Harry knew he contained a Horcrux in the form of his scar, and I should have been prepared for it, he does seem the type to do things rashly when he gets into an emotional state. I hope it is not a state that I induced? Perhaps my actions reminded him of something my future self did. In fact I have little doubt of this seeing my original plan for the boy would have made things sketchy at best between us further into the future. Well I believe I may have rambled in my journal enough now. I need to do some more research into Harry's current unconsious state. 

Voldemort's soul is indeed gone from him now but I believe he may have caused damage that induced the coma he is in now. I only hope he hasn't been drawn into his subconsious where his magical core resides. If so it may prove difficult to get him back out again. In a sense the way back is simple. It would simply be like throwing a breaker switch in his core to get things going again. But to get there...the brain isn't a simple straightforward place to navigate. It's not like watching memories in a pensieve, it would be like wandering through an infinite labrynthe with countless dangers around every corner. 

I know from personal experience that the worst enemy a person can ever face in their lifetime is themselves... I only hope I can devise a way to subtly help him get through this without doing any damage.

Entry dated July 12, 1991 Albus Dumbledore ---

Harry awoke to find himself lying in the hospital bed at night. He sat up quickly, wondering how long he'd been out. He felt no more pain, which was odd, he should be feeling a lot of ache and fatigue from all the energy he'd used up, unless he'd been out for a week already. He got up to go look for Madame Pomfrey in her office. As his feet hit the cold stone floor he shivered and sneezed. As he did this the person in the bed next to his twitched in their sleep. Wait...there shouldn't be anyone in the bed next to his unless the hospital was full, Madame Pomfrey preferred keeping patients spaced out to allow more privacy and seperated bio-zones, although he didn't think she used that term exactly. He looked around the room to see that every single bed was occupied, and many of them appeared to have sheets covering them completely meaning...they were dead? What had happened? Had he been out so long that the students had come back already and some had been injured and even killed? Where was the headmaster? I thought he was more capable than this! And some of these children appeared very small. 

The person next to him, though sleeping fitfully, was wrapped in bandages from what appeared to be head to toe and he decided he didn't want to see underneath the bandages. following his original plan to get some information from the Matron he headed to the back room, not knowing the guaze-faced patient had watched him leaving with his glowing red eyes. And then with a deep scratchy voice that hissed with anger and hatred.

"Soon Harry Potter, you will face the horrifying truth you deluded fool. I will see to it you never escape this place." 


	4. Encounters and Mazes

AN:thought I'd add this as I found it. not likely to continue the story though, I'm not a psychologist or even taken classes for psychology, though I wanted to. So I feel inadequate to write anything like this.

"Well, well, Mr. Potter, what are you doing up? You're supposed to be in a coma after all."

Harry jumped and twirled around to see the bandaged person standing there behind him.

"How long have I been out?" he asked

"Just a few hours actually."

"But then how am I already awake?"

"Who said you were awake?"

Harry narrowed his eyes.

"Who are you?"

He rolled his eyes, which were surprisingly green like his. Was this really some kind of dream? I thought people in a coma didn't dream?

"I am, Mr. Potter, to put it simply, your worst nightmare." The bandages began to dissolve, revealing a mirror image of himself.

"I am you if you had actually grown some balls and gone down the path of power. But as Voldemort told you, you are just too weak to seek that path. However, deep within your subconsious, I exist. And now, Mr. Potter, I'm afraid you'll have to die. Just like all the other aspects of yourself In this room.

curtains were pulled back and blankets to reveal that every single one of the people in the room were some form of himself. Some were younger, one even a toddler, his eyes open in horror, his body mangled, others were much older than himself, even.

Harry reacted the only way he could. He was afraid. He reached for his wand. which wasn't there.

The other Harry smirked, his eyes flashing a red color, much like Tom Riddle's had. He laughed.

"It's useless Harry. I built this arena. You are powerless within it. Not even you're precious "divine light" can reach here. We're in the reptilian section of the brain, Harry. A place ruled by sssnakessss." He hissed the last part as he changed form into a giant Cobra, towering over his powerless other self."

Harry panicked, trying to think of something he could do as he ran towards the next room.

"No, no, no, Harry." hissed his opposite number as a wall of stone rose out of the floor to cover the exit. "Don't run from death. It only makes it more fun. For me."

Snake Harry reached out with his tail in a flash and wrapped Harry's small form in his coils. He hovered over Harry, venom dripping from his fangs.

"You know, Harry. I could torture you. Make you scream for my mercy. Make you beg. But you know, I think I'll enjoy it much more when I torture your friends instead!" Harry moaned. "Hahahahahaha! Yes! Now I'll rule the mind! See you on the flip side, Harry! Ahahahaha!" He continued to laugh as he swallowed Harry whole.

Wait, that's it! thought Harry as he was being burned by acid. The flip side! This is my brain, damnit!

A rumbling was heard as Harry began to focus. The giant Snake went off like a bomb as it was apparated to a higher section of the brain. It reappeared in a stone temple that was glowing with light energy. The snake was burned where it touched the floor. It roared in pain and anger.

Harry focused on his light element, pulling it all to him, filling the snake's stomach with the power.

The snake's body begain to grow and grow and swell until....

"Yuck!" A slightly singed Harry said as he used his element to clean and heal himself and the surrounding area. "Ah, this sucks. He'll be back. At least I got rid of the damned horcrux. How do I get the hell out of here? Is this what happens to everyone that gets stuck in a magical coma?"

He observed his surroundings. He had no idea where he was or why the hell there were temple's inside his head. "My very warped, warped brain." he said to himself, rolling his eyes.

He decided to explore the Temple, looking for clues. He thought he saw a shadow down a corridor at the end of the room he was in. Looking up he realized this room was a lot like the great hall. The ceiling reflected stars, nebulae and distant galaxies. "Good to know that I secretly worship Hogwarts." he said sarcastically. "Now All I need is-" "Hello, Harry"

"Gack! Oh, it's you..."

"Harry, my boy, I'm hurt!" The headmaster chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Headmaster, I've just had a difficult and very long day. It happens from time to time. So many things to sort through I doubt I'll even remember it all tomorrow. Assuming I can wake up and get some real sleep soon."

"Well that's why I'm here. Technically I'm not really here this is just me speaking through the me that exists in your brain but....the point is I can get you to a place of rest and a way back there whenever you need it. And some advice on how to get through all this as well. Judging from the snake guts I stepped in on my way here I believe you've already met your opposite number, and judging from the smell you were almost his lunch.

"He had a trap set for me the moment I got here. He wanted to brandish the corpses of some of my other possible selves at me. Including a toddler. It's just disturbing having to face that that prick is a part of me."

"Well Harry you could be stuck fighting him forever, and believe me you're other aspects are not dead permenantly, just like He isn't, as I'm sure you can feel. He'll be recovering in the bowels of you're middle brain, as they call it."

You'll have to find the other you's Harry, help them, and band together to trap him in some permenant way. I've always felt the only way to win against your darker side is to deny it what it wants, the opportunity to fight with you.

The headmaster transfigured a bit of cloth into a ring, then waved his wand over it and muttered "Portus". "This should take you to you're inner child, Harry. Its the easiest for me to find, and so its the only one I can be most sure of. He will be able to find you a place to rest. Oh, and one more thing before I have to leave Harry. Other versions of yourself are not all you will find here. There are also other versions of people you know here, as well as you're own conglomerate archetypes and such. Just be wary of who, or what, you trust. After you've rested, seek that which most represents magic to you. Au revoir, Harry." And with a pop, Dumbledore was gone.

Harry had no idea what conglomerate archetypes was supposed to mean or exactly what most represented magic to him. A wand maybe? He shook his head. The headmaster had been intentionally vague. He'd think about it later though.

He put on the ring he'd been left, muttered "activate," and was whisked away to another part of his mind.

---

Harry woke up feeling sore, and he couldn't roll out of bed because there were big lumps on either side of him. Wait, what? Harry snapped into consiousness and realized first he was tiny, only about two and half feet tall at the most, and second, he was in his parents' bed! When did that happen? he thought in confusion. Just then a carbon copy of himself jumped up onto the bed.

"Hullo me! Me awake! Daddy say it rude to wake up. Me angy? Hop! Hop!" Harry watched himself hop up and down on the bed and talk in gibberish, not sure he understood everything he just said. This caused his father to groan and mumble in his sleep about bludgers. Wait, his father! No, I've got to keep in perspective! It's not my real dad, just my perception of him, which I'm kind of afraid to meet anyway, and he promptly decided to stick with his toddler self instead. He climbed off the bed and resized into his actual shape.

The smaller Harry clapped for him. "Yay!" he climbed down as well and ran over to a basket in the corner which was full of books for wizard children. Self-repairing popup fairy tales and even a few muggle books about a purple dinosaur named Barney which Harry was sure he'd never heard of. It was amazing what his mind had sponged without him even realizing over the years. Little Harry, which it was difficult for him to watch, having seen his lifeless body on the hospital bed earlier, brought him one of the barney books and was grabing his pants leg and saying "weed gook! weed gook!" or something like that. A rocking chair appeared magically behind him and Harry gave in to the relentless child and picked him up into his lap, sitting in the chair. As Harry began to read to himself he realized something important about young children's minds. They were extremely curious, and if you discouraged that then they would probably lose a lot of that curiosity as they were so keyed into their environment. He realized that was probably why he was always finding things out after the fact in the past. He was raised by the Dursleys, after all.

Harry read to himself until the little one fell asleep in his lap, and then he left him in bed with his parents, and his mother took him into his arms and kissed him, which Harry surprisingly felt on his own cheek, and he smiled, something he didn't do so often anymore.

'Well, now its time for me to get moving I suppose' he thought to himself. 'I have to seek out my magic.'

Harry was astounded by the landscape of his mind. He walked through a section which was filled with toys and broken clocks and books lying about outside the bedroom, and heard horrible sounds and smells coming from what he thought must be the kitchen. His aunt's kitchen from the sound of it. And the smell of it...

He came through a library section that was filled with lots of girls that all somehow looked like Hermione or Luna or some variation of them with some Pince mixed in. It was scary really. He walked up to a Luna-ish looking person and asked them which way to the books on wands.

"Well if you're having trouble with your wand then there's no hope for you is there?" she said, and stomped off. Harry felt as if he'd been insulted, but couldn't quite make out the joke. 


End file.
